Dec 3 Crazies

Ever wear frosting as lipstick? Ordered "No Spin" golf balls off of Bill O'Reilly's online gift shop? Set the alarm clock for 9:15 AM to order from the McDonald's breakfast menu? If so, the Lord unites us as friends of heart and mind.
Donate to the Chrissy D. Must Purchase a Severely Over-Priced Mac Fund.
It's December 3 which means I am finishing finals and revising spreadsheets for Xmas gift giving. I am sealing my old gold in the Gold Kit evelope. I hope to make bank off of that ole Jesus Crucifix. The senior citizen on the television tells me so anyhow.
Responsibility, you see, is serious, especially at Xmas. In order to be an adult, you must learn to default on that mortgage, skip car payments, and pawn heirlooms in order to fill Jimmy's stocking. Xmas is the ultimate test of integrity as a parent.
I am not a parent. However, I want the babe of Apple, that icon of sin Mother Eve tossed back. Thus, I must sacrifice for the sake of a child. The power of the babe.

I have to finish this Target spreadsheet now. I suppose 1 PM is a good time for a shower...

yes. love. god.

i was reminded to slow down this morning. the routine of coffee and tea within ten minutes of waking must go. it's summer... at 8:30, i sat in my grandpa's garden, eating a cupcake, and watched a snail snot all over the brick patio. i poked at it with a stick. silly snail. he pulled out a knife, threatened me by waving the blade in my face, then stuffed it back inside its shell. i went inside, told my grandfather. he told me to lay off the sugar then went to the patio and stepped on it. i agreed, "yes grandfather," to his wisdom about sugar shock. i returned to the garden, this time under the orange tree. the cat, mussolini, was sitting on the wood chips. she said, "come hang. lick your thighs with me." although i'm not so advanced in yoga as to lick my thighs, i took a seat. we talked about mood swings, the benefits of flea repellent in a pill vs powder, and recent terrorist plots. the cat rolled on its back, dug its claws into the garden hose, and said, "i'd love a good nap." "you just woke up," i replied. she lifted a paw and forced the middle claw then swatted my shoelace as i walked off. so, i thought i'd take it easy on my own. nothing is more relaxing than watching six hours of deepsea creature documentaries on the discovery channel. my hair is in a bandana, pjs are rolled, mascara smudged, and nose oily. i am reminiscing bout wake and bakes, midnight cadillac rides, and salvaggio's sandwiches in boulder. next month, i set off to be a pro in what i hoped for back then. thank god.

Day 0

Howdy and welcome to The Daily Chicken Scratch. Here I will discuss the latest issues of interest but mainly noninterest, as most blogs do. Soon Dr. Aunt Linda will join me to chart our numerous treks and establish a forum on current events.

Until then, later tator.
- Chrissy D.